Review from Blue Cat Screenwriting competition.
This project had a highly evocative, surreally dark tone that came across clearly on the page. I was fully transported into this grimy, neo-noir world, which came equipped with a somewhat heightened cinematic vibe. There were some incredibly intense sequences of suspense and extreme brutality which further hammered home this macabre sensibility. Additionally, the dialogue throughout the piece was whip-sharp, packed with ribald humor, cock-eyed observations, and twisted euphemisms.
With the character of Edsall Quarrels, you have created a truly loathsome and intimidating antagonist, who an audience will very much look forward to seeing dead. I appreciated the fact that, in general, your narrative took several unforeseen twists and turns, pushing things in a different direction from what I anticipated. Though I can feel your cinematic influences on display, you’ve done a wonderful job in imprinting this material with a fresh, unique aesthetic and style of your own.
The look I get when I’m trying to write (and shop online) at home. She knows what I’m really up to.
Original artwork for Aesop, created by me.
INT. ASYLUM RECEPTION AREA – NIGHT
The front window is spotted with fresh raindrops. Mona works on a crossword puzzle at her desk. A few powdered donuts and a cup of coffee sit within arms reach. A light dusting of powdered sugar covers her chin.
Aesop walks through the double doors behind her, unnoticed. he grabs Mona by the hair, snapping her head back. Her eyes bulge with fear as she recognizes him.
NURSE MONA – You-you shouldn’t be out of your room.
AESOP – Your problem, Mona, is that you’ve become unsympathetic to the human condition. Let’s fix that–
Aesop slams her head on the desktop. Her body slides out of her chair and flops heavily to the ground. Aesop dumps the contents of Mona’s purse on the counter.
He takes her money and car keys.